im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
