she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
