Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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