some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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