Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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