WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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