I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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