put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
