Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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