belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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