How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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