I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
