I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
