So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
