I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
