well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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