i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I smell like Dick and happiness
He did a backflip because drugs
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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