I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize