that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
