this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You need Xanax blowdarts
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
