Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
