She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
