She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
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