The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Boobs speak an international language.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
