you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
