It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
