i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
