if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
