i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
COCAINE IS GR8
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
