you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
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all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
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Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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