If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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