the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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