what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.