So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
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It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
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I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.