Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(317): View more from Indiana

it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely

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(806): View more from Texas

apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom

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(559): View more from California

i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...

(559): View more from California

...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!

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(919): View more from North Carolina

my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.

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29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Read it at the TFLN blog
(718): View more from New York

We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.

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(319): View more from Iowa

i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.

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(931): View more from Tennessee

everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend

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(614): View more from Ohio

I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.

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(616): View more from Michigan

Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.

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