Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Randomize
Follow @tfln