Texts From Last Night

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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.

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  (414): dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian. http://tfl.nu/yfk0
  Replies (17) Good night (4325) Bad night (659)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...

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  (612): I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person... http://tfl.nu/4pvh
  Replies (25) Good night (4664) Bad night (774)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.

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  (647): You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened. http://tfl.nu/1lek
  Replies (32) Good night (18509) Bad night (967)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.

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  (410): He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot. http://tfl.nu/qo51
  Replies (16) Good night (1227) Bad night (4999)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.

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  (919): My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD. http://tfl.nu/zazo
  Replies (7) Good night (3330) Bad night (1135)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.

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  (617): I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again. http://tfl.nu/qw6q
  Replies (50) Good night (20208) Bad night (2346)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.

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  (815): it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries. http://tfl.nu/kdps
  Replies (16) Good night (5251) Bad night (971)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?

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  (941): Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night? http://tfl.nu/uq24
  Replies (18) Good night (5386) Bad night (880)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.

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  (403): We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is. http://tfl.nu/dgmw
  Replies (11) Good night (1588) Bad night (618)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.

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  (248): Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry. http://tfl.nu/ylim
  Replies (3) Good night (1299) Bad night (580)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?

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  (+44): You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman? http://tfl.nu/pxap
  Replies (1) Good night (1052) Bad night (791)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down

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  (860): You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down http://tfl.nu/2dmo
  Replies (4) Good night (825) Bad night (886)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.

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  (413): Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you. http://tfl.nu/55zo
  Replies (4) Good night (1389) Bad night (596)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen

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  (647): You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen http://tfl.nu/up6u
  Replies (3) Good night (1032) Bad night (1518)
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  (+63): View more from

  there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi

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  (+63): there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi http://tfl.nu/ylbm
  Replies (5) Good night (1200) Bad night (689)

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