I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.