Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
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his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
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Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.