..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
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