is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Randomize