I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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