i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
