i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
