I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
