You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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