You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
It's blow job season.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
