too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
