Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Is it because I queefed?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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