I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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