the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.