You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.