whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
she was so not down for the gang bang
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
im six kinds of drunk right now
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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