My first STD was from a foam party
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her