I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
It was a blind-side dick pic.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize