can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
