i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
