fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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