How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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