They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
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and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
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Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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