I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Randomize
