he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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