So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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