Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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