Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
