You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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