eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
it glows. i had to have it.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
