There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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