this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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