Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
