it was like his penis was on wheels.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
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